The Post-Panamá wrap-up

Hola a todo el mundo!

As promised my second blog post on my latest trip to Panamá... now being written from a train taking me from Montreal, QC to Kingston, ON, cuz you know, a girl's gotta stay mobile. Heading home for the holidays and a three-hour train ride has given me some time to reflect on the whirlwind that was the second half of my stay en la ciudad de Panamá.

Per my usual form, the events of the past month and a half have been a blur of activity, but I promise to give you the highlights and quirky anecdotes (well, most of them!). First, a summary. A great deal of my time was spent working, and given that I was there to work on a research project and be all productive and such, this shouldn't be much of a surprise. I am proud to say that I actually finished all of the work I said I would complete (and to be honest, I had my doubts right up until the last week, because ArcGIS is both my best friend and mortal enemy and did not like my clunky Python script that I wrote for my work). Oops, that last sentence went a little nerd-tastic... Translation: I am not so good at the programming of things, the program I needed to use for my work isn't so good at working long continuous hours, and put the two together and I've caused both the program and my computer to crash more times in the past month than in the past 5 years combined. Joy. BUT it's done. So yay me.

That's work. Well, sort of. Again, you don't get more details than that, cuz we be looking to publish (*eep*!) and I would rather share the published article if/when that happens.

Now, onto the things that happened when I wasn't drinking normal *cough* [absurd] volumes of coffee. The next biggest thing that happened after my last post was a mind-blowingly amazing trip to a small town called Boquete. Located in northwestern Panamá, Boquete is a quaint little burrow home to some of the best coffee in the world (nope, not kidding, one of the local bean variants won a global coffee-tasting competition. Please don't ask me which one, or what the competition is called, just accept on blind faith that I and the barista we chatted with for about 30 minutes, know what we're talking about). Coffee side note: how do I become a judge for this competition, assuming I can ever remember the name of it? Also, how does one introduce oneself in a social gathering once you get this job?? "Hi, I drink coffee for a living"... "Haha yeah, me too bud, helps get ya through the day, eh?!" .. "No really! That's my job, I drink coffee and decide which one's the best" ..."You crack me up! We'll have to grab a cup o' joe sometime eh?". [Just realising now that this is definitely an East Coast Canadian party I'm picturing]. Moving on...

So Boquete is not only the home to some of the best coffee you will ever drink, it is also blissfully not Panamá city climate, that is to say- it is not crazy hot and humid and one can step outside without looking (or smelling) like you just got back from an intense workout. In the mountains and not far away from the highest point of elevation in the entire country, Boquete is one of my new all-time favourite places to visit. I would like to use photos to tell the story of the trip, since they do, in fact, speak much louder than my ramblings, but first, I want to set the scene:

Two young women, both in grad school (therefore in varying degrees of over-caffeination and under-slept), but fortunate enough to be studying in Panamá. These young women happened to meet the year before, and thus were more than ecstatic when they realised they would be reunited in Panamá again.

Young woman #1: Hey Lynette, I still haven't been to Boquete and I was thinking of doing a weekend trip there sometime. Have you been yet??
Young woman #2: I haven't been there yet either!!! Let's go!
Young woman #1: You free next weekend??
Young woman #2: Oh my god, yes!

The young women proceed to book a hostel in Boquete for the agreed upon weekend. The hostel is booked.

--End Scene--

That ^^ right there, was the extent of the planning that occurred prior to Lynette and I landing in Boquete on November 12th. And now, folks, the picture show!

Start off your trip to Boquete with 2 mini bottles of wine.

Then, go to Albrook Terminal and buy 2 bus tickets to David...

And make sure to buy more wine and, just to be safe, chocolate, for your 6 hour trip. Consider leaving at 11pm, so you arrive by 5am and everyone around you is trying to sleep while you practice your "inside" voices [read: loud laughter followed by: "shhhhh! We'll wake everybody up!"]

Arrive in David around 5am and bleary-eyed... walk to the opposite side of the terminal and wait for the former school bus to take you to your destination... Boquete! (For what I believe was $1.35)

Arrive by 7am, check into your hostel and drink their free coffee, decide on the spot that you will book another night in the hostel, and that hiking 28km round trip to the top of Volcán, the highest elevation point in Panamá, that night is a good idea... and with renewed energy, go walk around town and discover...

More coffee! Drink all of the coffee.

Take a busito/van for $3 each to the hot springs (agua termales); walk for an hour in the stifling heat. This option saves you almost $20 and is honestly preferable to the "tour" they try to sell you at the hostel.

Soak in the hot springs... once you find them. Note you pay about $2 to get into the area, and you may walk past the hot springs the first time, cuz they're not marked and kinda lacking the wow factor.

Swim in the river after sitting in the hot springs and lay on the rocks for hours to dry off... Consider wearing your bathing suit under your clothes because there is nowhere to change when you get there, and the outhouse was something out of a horror film (and I have tolerated a good deal of questionable back woods plumbing scenarios in my day, let me tell you!)

When hiking back to the main road, make friends with local wildlife...

And become incredibly emotionally attached.

Return to Boquete euphoric, and a bit sleepy, and eat some of the best gelato ever.

Set out with the intention of having a short rest before your long overnight hike... but then end up buying and sharing 2 bottles of wine and street meat from the vendor just outside. 

After not having slept for a solid 36 hours, each of you drinking a whole bottle of wine, get dropped off at the hike starting point at 11:30pm... looking a little worse for wear. You have only 1 headlamp to share and (following the recommendations of others), neither of you are wearing hiking boots. 

Fast forward 5.5 hours of stumbling in the dark and the harsh buzz kill that only a 14km hike (and 1700m change in elevation) can provide... you make it to the top to watch the sunrise.

Despite the cold, it was definitely worth it.

So now, you've done well. You've made it to the top in time to see the sunrise. Now you need to go back. By this point, you're nearing 42 hours without sleep. When you reach the sign post that says you have 4.5km left until the start point, you begin to despair. To say that you're walking like 90-year old ladies would be generous. When you reach 1km from the start point, against all hope, a truck drives by on the track, heading towards town. With your last remaining energy, you stick your thumb out, put on your most pitiful look and ask for a ride. You are given a blissful drive back to Boquete, where you make your way to your hostel, with thoughts of a bed and shower taking over your thoughts...

When your roommate leaves the world of the living

I offered Lynette the shower first, but she politely declined... most likely because she had great plans of falling into a coma the minute she laid down. I feel like only these pictures can truly convey how bone-tired we were.

We went for gelato again with much less enthusiasm as the day before...

But, the banana split was worth it! P. S. yes my face is red and burnt... I am paler than marshmallow fluff and it was the wet season in Panamá, so it was cloudy all the time. Hence, when the sun came out the previous day at the hot springs...

I can honestly say that that weekend in Boquete was one of the best of my life, and I couldn't have asked for a better travel buddy! I would like to say that I have a strong suspicion that this will not be the last time the two of us travel together, and (by default) stay tuned for more crazy stories in the years to come!

Now, the remaining month of my time in Panamá was marked by small day/evening trips that are easily illustrated with the far more entertaining pictographic form. These are pictured below, along with my typical stream of consciousness commentary that all ten of you seem to enjoy *cough* tolerate (I was chastised for my last post, as there are 7 other people, apart from my mom, dad and grandma, that read this, and so consider this my apology for saying that only 3 people read my blog. I stand corrected, and this is your official shout out *crickets chirping*)...

These are the Canal Authority steps. They make for an amazing workout if you're a crazy person.

Some of my dancing friends, because I did find time to go salsa dancing in Panamá. La Buat is the new place to be on Sundays! 

The Hard Rock Hotel has live salsa nights every Wednesday on the 62nd floor, and you can get dressed up all fancy-like!

Ice skating. In Panamá. Yup, it's a thing. They set up an ice rink on the Cinta Costera and charge you $11 per person for 30 minutes. My Canadian brain nearly exploded at the price, but how many people can say they went skating in Panamá? Plus, it was worth the $11 purely for entertainment purposes and watching people. I am by no means a good skater, actually I'm quite terrible, but I was practically a professional in that crowd. 

Going to the beach is a much more Panamá-esque activity, so we all got together and went to Taboga, which is an island about a 30min boat ride from the city.

The wind on the beach made it a bit chilly, so towel hats became a thing.

One of my last nights in Panamá, got to get dressed up again and go for dinner and walk around for a bit. This guy right here made it an unforgettable trip. World, meet Juan :)

The Smithsonian had a Christmas party on my last night in Panamá, so Lynette and I got our grooves on, and hit up the photobooth!

And now, the moment you've all been waiting for... fun Spanish mishaps/ phrases/Panamanian nuances. I would like to begin this portion of the post by recounting a tale of gross misunderstanding with an Uber driver...

[Insert friendly benign chit chat... until:]
Uber driver: Estás casada?
Me [throws head back, grabs heart rather dramatically]: Sí!!
Uber driver [looking taken aback]: Por qué hiciste eso??
Me [dawning realisation that I did not understand his question]: Emmm que me dijiste?
Uber driver [also realising now that this gringa isn't so good at the Spanish]: Are you married?
Me [hysterical laughter, which in hindsight, definitely made me seem like an even crazier person]: Oh, noooooo. Creí qué estabas preguntando sí estoy cansadaaa

What all of that ^^ means. He asked if I was married (casada), I thought he said tired (cansada)... he probably thought I was in some sort of crazy marriage, and then quickly felt bad for my husband. Though perhaps not, cuz then he offered to drive me around the country and to do a road trip together. Politely declined that one! Transportation travel tip: despite this odd encounter, I feel much safer taking Uber than taxis in Panamá, though still took taxis occasionally when I felt I could barter them down lower than Uber. (If you look like a foreigner, be prepared for taxi drivers to try to charge you ridiculous prices for fares. For the most part travelling within the city, accept nothing more than $3, maybeee $4 if it's late at night or on a weekend). I got a weird enjoyment from a taxi driver quoting me a fare that I knew was outrageous, walking to the next cab driver, negotiating a reasonable fare, and then smiling at the first taxi driver as I got in the second car. Petty, I know, but don't try to scam the foreigners, we're not all going to take that lying down!

Anywho, so there's a good one to remember! That is probably my most egregious mis-translation to-date. Could have been worse. It was only rivalled by the time I tried to buy gelato and the man working the counter spoke in such rapid Spanish that I totally froze, turned beet red and I'm pretty sure my mouth dropped open and I got a bit of an eye twitch from the stress. Yup, I'm good at handling stressful line situations...

Now, since no other significant translation goofs are coming to mind, I would like to provide you with an itty bitty Panamá conversation survival guide.

Recommended topics of conversation with your Uber driver:

-The traffic (el tranque; pronounced trawn-kay). Usually, there's a lot, so just say: "Hay mucho tranque!" Also, I think this might be just a Panamá thing, because tranque literally means dam or lock... other places use the word tráfico. If there isn't any traffic, this will definitely be a shocker, so just say "No hay mucho tranque!" and act shocked.

-If it has rained recently (or is raining), bond with your driver about how this causes more traffic in Panamá. "Con la lluvia, viene el tranque", or something of the sort. (Sensing a theme?)

-Look around, there is probably someone driving doing something stupid. Use this as a conversation starter, if your Spanish is basic, simply say "Mira! Qué locura" (Look! What a crazy person) and point at said idiot.

Alternatives: fasten your seatbelt if it works, hold onto the sides of your seat and pray to any/all of your deities that this won't be the time you get caught in a crazy traffic accident due to the anarchy that sets the driving rules in Panamá. This also works.

Proceed with caution in the following topics of discussion, unless you know the person and are comfortable you can have a civilized/ respectful conversation:

-Immigration. There are a lot of immigrants in Panamá, particularly from Venezuela and Colombia. Many of these people are fleeing the horrific living conditions in Venezuela, or following work opportunities, visiting family, etc.. While this brings diversity to the country and its economy, it also brings tension amongst Panamanians who see this as incoming job competition and/or criminal activity. I feel that this is a much more complex issue than what I have laid out here, and I understand that there is no black and white answer; however, many people on both sides have very strong feelings towards this topic. I think we need to open this dialogue, but take caution opening up this topic, especially when you do not know how the other person will react. While I still feel I need to learn more about both sides before coming to any conclusions, I have no qualms stating my horror at the living conditions for most Venezuelans in Venezuela. Due to variety of issues ranging from political corruption and economic oil dependence (among others), pricing inflation on basic food and home goods has exploded, such that many households are forced to ration everything from food to toilet paper, much of which was garnered after waiting 12+ hours in an increasingly dangerous line-up outside their local store. To illustrate this, this is a link to a video that helps visualize what this means for people. As world citizens, and as travellers, we have the responsibility to be informed about the goings-on in our world. This is a small part of it. No, I do not get any endorsement money from saying these things or including these links, I just like to share things.

-Politics. Again, this is a door that should be opened and discussed, but please remain respectful when doing so. The political realm in Panamá has been and continues to be an up and down affair, and though a relatively stable country, unemployment rates have been on the rise recently. Again, there are many reasons as to why this might be, and everyone is entitled to their opinion, but just tread carefully when voicing yours, especially if you come from a "Western" country. Too often foreign powers have paid off one side or another to gain resource access or political alliances, and as a result these host countries are still reeling from the effects of this meddling today.

A question I'm still having after a cumulative 7 months of living in Panamá...

You will notice when going about your daily life in Panamá, that if someone wants to get your attention and you fall with a certain magical and mysterious age bracket, they will simply yell "JOVEN!" (ho-ven; meaning "young") at you to get your attention. While I appreciate the shout out to my youthful appearance... what is the imaginary age line when people stop using "joven" to get your attention?? And at that point, what word is used?? I never heard anyone yell the counterpart, "VIEJO/A!" (vee-eh-ho/ha; meaning "old") at anyone, for which I was glad. I also never heard "señor/a" either. All I know is that I would like my "joven" status to continue for a while longer, it gives me hope that the bags under my eyes don't look as permanent as they feel.

I am sad to say, though, that my "joven" state may be drawing to a close. Enter brutally honest Uber driver. We were having the usual conversation about what I was doing in Panamá, work, etc. The following conversation ensued:

Uber Driver: Wow! Pero eres joven!... Cuántos años tiene??
Me: Sí! 25!
Uber Driver: Oh... pero no eres tannn joven!
~2 segundos de silencio extraño~
Me: Oh... em, gracias?

Translation and internal dialogue:

 Uber Driver: Wow (in reference to my awesomeness and moving and working in another country) but you're young! How old are you??
 Me: Yep! (picture me looking a little proud of myself and my accomplishments, as you know, pride goeth before the fall...), 25
 Uber Driver: Oh, but you're not thatttt young!
~2 seconds of awkward silence~
Me: Oh... um, thanks?
[Eye twitch and reality check kinda hit me at the same time with that one. He did not get a 5 star rating for honesty on that trip. Goodbye youth!]

-fin-

Well, that brings us to the end of Panama Round #2! Happy Holidays/ Christmas/ Hanukkah/ Kwanzaa to all of you!

P. S. Volcán Round #2 is in my books, as there is a good chance I will be going back to Panamá in 2017, and this is my way of telling my Dad that his Christmas present from me is a trip for 2 to Boquete, so we can hike Volcán! Merry Christmas Dad, just checking to see if you read to the end ;-p